I'm not even sure how to summarize this article by Wesley Yang, titled "Paper Tigers: What Happens to All the Asian-American overachievers when the test-taking ends?," but it's endlessly fascinating in its description of the "Bamboo Ceiling" that keeps Asians from progressing above middle management, etc.; the ways in which Asian culture create and fuel subconscious bias against seeing Asians as leaders; as well as the stories of focus groups aimed at teaching Asians about the unwritten cultural rules in the country, including dating:
Tran offers his own story as an exemplary Asian underdog. Short, not good-looking, socially inept, sexually null. “If I got a B, I would be whipped,” he remembers of his childhood. After college, he worked as an aerospace engineer at Boeing and Raytheon, but internal politics disfavored him. Five years into his career, his entire white cohort had been promoted above him. “I knew I needed to learn about social dynamics, because just working hard wasn’t cutting it.”
His efforts at dating were likewise “a miserable failure.” It was then that he turned to “the seduction community,” a group of men on Internet message boards like alt.seduction.fast. It began as a “support group for losers” and later turned into a program of self-improvement. Was charisma something you could teach? Could confidence be reduced to a formula? Was it merely something that you either possessed or did not possess, as a function of the experiences you had been through in life, or did it emerge from specific forms of behavior? The members of the group turned their computer-science and engineering brains to the question. They wrote long accounts of their dates and subjected them to collective scrutiny. They searched for patterns in the raw material and filtered these experiences through social-psychological research. They eventually built a model.
It's a long article, but I read it all the way through.